What to Love About Senior Year (Satire)

Lucy Zhao, Staff Reporter

Senior year is full of excitement and achievement. After the sad sight of ‘back to school’ posters being viciously ripped off the walls of local supermarkets, October marks the first battles of an annually occurring war between millions of students across the nation of the United States. 

At the heart of each battle is a college. In preparation, each student is in charge of carefully devising a battle strategy. Armies of sleep-deprived soldiers send in their first battle declarations: applications that they spent hours filling out, each question becoming more and more personal. 

Come spring, Mother Nature decides to teach everyone a life-long lesson. Spending money on applications just to be rejected only teaches someone to be stronger and be more careful of what they spend their money on. Not only is money spent, but hours of time are wasted perfecting essays. All of this work goes in without the guarantees of admission. 

In fact, it is such an important lesson that people still continue to pour their hard-earned money and time into college applications each year. Obviously, the gift that Mother Nature has given to soldiers was well thought out. This way, they have the previous training to endure any sort of rejection and loss in the future whether that be from a significant other or a potential job offering. 

Not to mention, years of student debt would teach a student to be less frivolous with their money. Students learn to move on and continue to pour their money into things more worth the money. These soldiers love buying year-long subscriptions to makeup companies and frequenting Starbucks to romanticize doing their homework. 

As students start to see more and more rejection letters pour in, students always celebrate the lesson that they are learning. College rejections are not simply letters sent to students from the admissions office of the different battlegrounds, they offer the chance for growth and money management to all of the students around the nation.